O bed! O bed! delicious bed!
That heaven upon earth to the weary head.~
Thomas Hood, Miss Kilmansegg - Her Dream
It has been a week since Mum went into the nursing home. I have been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and having an afternoon nap on weekends as well. I knew I was exhausted but I did not realise the full extent of my tiredness. I can only compare it to when my children were babies, waking up in the night for feeds. But that only lasted a matter of 6-8 weeks, this has lasted a year.
I feel a bit lost now when I am home. It is so long since I have been in the house on my own, or just with my husband. I have not been out anywhere except to work and the movies (with Mum) for the last year. What did I do with free time before I was a carer?
The first day my husband and I were home alone together we both found it very strange. What did we do? We fell asleep in our chairs.
The other thing I have realised is that Mum was a lot worse than I thought. She has needed full time care for a long time and her dementia is progressing rapidly. It is clearer to me now that I am not living with her. I talk to her on the phone each night and she seems to like the place where she is and likes the staff, but she has trouble remembering much or that I have called her the day before.
I am so glad now that she is in care. It is time for me to try and recover my health and my career. I have a heap of medical tests to get done that I have been 'too busy' for and once I stop sleeping so much I want to get back into my work and start enjoying life again.
There is life after caring.
4 comments:
I'm glad that you have moved into a less tiring, less stressful period of your life now. From experience, I know that it will take you 1 - 2 months to adjust. Just do what your body is telling you - you'll need LOTS of rest.
Isn't it strange how different appear look when viewed at arm's length?
It's good that your mother is happy in her new surroundings...but sad that her dementia is getting such a hold on her.
Hi Elanor, I am so glad to read that your mom is happy and seems to like where she's living. That's a relief I'm sure! I'm sure that your body is so shocked with your change in routine. Thanks for visiting my blog -- feel free to pop by anytime and let's get this weight off together! How long have you been a celiac? I've been on a GF diet for 2 1/2 years now. I don't have a firm celiac diagnosis although it is suspected. Take care! D
I have finally caught up with what is going on with you! Wow, you have really had a tough time. I can only compare to when Mr Man had to go into hospital, and I agree with Robert - the adjustment takes time. I always found the first 3 weeks to be the worst.
I'm sorry to read that you have been so unwell too. I hope you feel much better soon x
How good to hear that you have found a happy place for your Mum to be. I read back through some of your earlier blogs and loved the idea of your Mum compiling her art scrapbook - what a great idea! Also good to read that you know this is not the life that your Mum would have chosen for you. I think one of the best things about caring, is that all of us take it as far as we are able. Goodbyes always bring regret, but there is so much love, so much giving through caring, that I hope we can all walk forward with face to the sun and the shadows behind...You might feel that you are losing your real Mum to Alzheimers but I am sure that deep down, she will always retain the sense of being loved by her family and I'm sure that that security keeps the worst ravages of AD away....
Take care, with love from a cold but sunny Scotland! Tx
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