Sunday, December 14, 2008

It's time to resume this blog...

Mum has now been in the nursing home for over a year. Up until recently she has been very happy there and settled. She told me on a few occasions that she is glad I made the decision to put her there.

Her health has gradually declined. She needs help with all activities of daily living to get started and encouragement to complete tasks. She is often incontinent and toileted hourly.

Her memory has deteriorated a lot over the last 2 months. Initially I think she improved as the setting was easy to manage so she wasn't as stressed but now I think the Alzheimers is catching up with her. She has trouble finding words, and asks the same thing over and over. She can no longer use the large print calendar stuck on her wardrobe with her daily activities on it. She has to be fetched from her room for activities, which she happily participates in once she gets there.

She remembers me and my children but doesn't remember the other siblings. They still have not contacted me since I bought her home from hospital over 2 years ago now.

The last few weeks she has started asking me to take her home. She has been telling me how much she misses me and her friends and wanting me to bring her back up here to live with me or in a home up here. It is just awful when she does this, she has been so happy and settled there. I know that this is all part of it. God knows I've been through this with so many Alzheimers patients and families myself as a nurse in charge of a dementia ward but it's just horrible hearing her. She is like a child pleading with me to come and get her.

I know that I can't bring her back here. If I do I will have to deal with all the people who caused so much pain and suffering for her and me in the past. I am just getting my life back on track now. About 8 weeks ago I left my job and re-opened my business that I had to close when mum got sick. I still have $20,000 in debt to repay that we ran up as a result of all this. I have paid back $8,000 so far.

So it seems that we are entering another stage of the illness and I need to blog to keep sane and try and survive it all.