I an feeling a bit better now than I was but still not quite right. This morning I made a big effort to look very healthy and convinced mum to go back to daycare. I got dressed and myhusband promised her he would stay home and take care of me.
Well she has gone and I am back in bed in my pyjamas. Hubby has left for the day and I can now have some peace and quiet!
This has made me realise how vulnerable I am as a carer. There is no back up if I can't do it. I do not have any family support except my dear husband. There is emergency respite care and nurses but that is a last resort. Friends offer to help but there is little that they can really do.
It just is a reminder that our lives are on an unalterable course with her illness. Mum will continue to deteriorate and need more and more care. Eventually the time will come when she will need full time care in a nursing home.
I would like to just have my life back. My busy, disorganised but wonderful life! But it will never be the same again. I can't pretend it will anymore.
Oh well I am going to stop before I become miserable. Time for a cuppa in bed and good book!
1 comment:
It's a pretty sobering moment when you finally realise the old life is gone isn't it?
It was probably a bit easier for me as it's been so long that I really now, don't remember what life was like before caring.
Depressing or what?
I think it's time for a cuppa!
maz x
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