In my first post I mentioned being judged for my decision to be a carer. I think that there is a lot of judgement around this issue.... everybody, it seems, is suddenly an expert on what it the 'best' solution!
it really pisses me off that people who hardly know me suddenly seem to think i am incapable of making decisions when it comes to my and mum.....
I really believe that there is no one best solution... and i have experienced this on many different levels over the years..... as a health professional... an administrator.... a grief & bereavement specialist and as a carer......
we need to let families decide and support them in their decisions....
if you want to see just how emotive and how judgemental the issues of carers can be take a look at this article and the responses it received.....
.....sending a hug to all the other carers reading this....
Elanor
4 comments:
I'm torn; I can really see both sides of the argument (although I didn't read through all the comments). As you say the family really has to decide what works for them.
In saying that though, when certain members of my family wanted to put my Nan in a home I was furious. Typically, it was the poorer members of my family who had nothing to lose financially (and no holidays booked) who were willing to care for her.
And I agree on everyone suddenly becoming an expert! How irritating is that?
Hi Elanor,
Thanks for the addition to your blogroll, I have been enjoying your blog and have reciprocated. I wasn't working when I became a carer so it is a different situation but as the subject has come up between my wife and I it is clear that she wouldn't want to be cared for by anyone she didn't know. Her parents are also ill and I would feel the same.
I don't think that it helps that one of the popular representations of the carer/carer-for relationship is Lou and Andy from Little Britain where Andy is a faker and Lou stupid and crusty.
P.S. Hugs always appreciated
there's no easy answers to any of it really is there. If only there were.
I would certainly want to care for my husband if he ever he was ill or had alzheimers. The profile of carers certainly needs to be raised in the community.
you comment about Little Britain carers reminded me of a wonderful TV series we had in Australia years ago called Mother and Son. He cared for his mother with alzheimers, it was very funny and right on the mark.
Elanor--
Thank you for adding me to your blog roll.
Next time someone offers their "expert" advice, thank them for being so wonderful. Ask them what day would be convenient for them so that you may drop your mum off at their place. Explain that would give you a much needed break and you're sure she'd be in excellent care since they obviously know so much. Then make sure you aren't in their way as they might trample you as they run for the door!
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